tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62264764344869150512024-02-07T08:15:41.525+02:00BehiBehdokhthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06197063079038136111noreply@blogger.comBlogger337125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6226476434486915051.post-54786744832050123172017-04-04T23:59:00.005+02:002017-04-05T13:38:05.440+02:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Still have to work on my social interactions and the points that my attention goes to. Otherwise, my time can be easily eaten up by (negative) thoughts that do nothing but harm. </div>
Behdokhthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06197063079038136111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6226476434486915051.post-16472618480266086682017-03-27T17:30:00.002+02:002017-03-27T18:33:26.467+02:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I spent 8 years of my life at one faculty building. 6 years at one lab, working with more and less the same people and getting completely used to a certain working atmosphere/culture. As a result, my (working) values got defined within a certain framework. I had some very great times there that made me believe leaving that place would be the hardest thing to do when the time comes. Also, I had my share of getting extremely frustrated, depressed and disappointed.<br />
I ended up having mixed feelings when I officially left there. Now, it's time for me to experience new atmospheres, to meet and to work with new people, and to explore more. Life should be more fun or better to say I should be more active in making it more fun and exciting than before as it has a great potential to be more pleasant. If I've learned one lesson so far, is that for whatever feeling we have, we are the responsible ones to make it better or worse. People come and go, their effects cannot and sometimes should not last more than it should. </div>
Behdokhthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06197063079038136111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6226476434486915051.post-62381782425612423802017-03-23T00:43:00.000+02:002017-03-23T00:46:32.228+02:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Started going through the previous posts in here, and god, I feel I'm 100 years old now! I cannot even begin to describe the loads of stuff I've been experiencing so far. I've changed from one version of being sentimental to another. I think quicker, am more direct and skeptical than before. I guess that's what doing a PhD did to me. One thing has not changed though, still trying to find my way. Busy getting serious with my career path, job haunting, recovering from some of my past experiences and getting prepared for the next round. It doesn't end, does it? </div>
Behdokhthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06197063079038136111noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6226476434486915051.post-86714144056247676322015-02-22T17:47:00.003+02:002015-02-22T17:49:50.127+02:00Highlights<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
So, what have been the highlights since I blogged last time?<br />
I got older and still in search of satisfaction, I have a paper that got officially accepted, and the cover image of the journal in which the paper will be published, is going to be my most favourite microscopic image. Exciting, isn't it?! But, nothing was easy regarding this paper, a bunch of unfortunate events happened on the way to the process of submissions, which left me extremely disappointed as well as distracted from the main purpose. I think I've lost that naive innocent spirit through all the challenges I've been facing in the professional scientific environment, and still am trying to realise how I should put things in perspective so that I could move on and be optimistic again.<br />
<br />
What else? One of my lab-mates committed suicide and took his own life some months ago. He was a smart knowledgeable medical doctor busy doing his PhD in our lab. There was a minute of silence and a lot of small talks starting with the words "why", "how" and "I wonder" for a while in the lab, and now, every one's back to the normal scientific talks.<br />
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Like always, Mr.B continues to be the good news in my life, and the last hightlight of my today's post.<br />
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This blog is like a very kind relative or friend, no matter for how long I ignore her, she's always sitting here with open arms.</div>
Behdokhthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06197063079038136111noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6226476434486915051.post-58042131691067850312013-08-03T00:05:00.001+02:002013-08-03T00:07:34.145+02:00Creating a false memory<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/kDXJhxLzmBQ" width="400"></iframe></div>
Behdokhthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06197063079038136111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6226476434486915051.post-67384117505976346742013-07-28T23:03:00.000+02:002013-07-28T23:03:05.181+02:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyuty10gvhAkRDLMoBrCW38bWvCPcRe8bWTeZHDvBN5T9KSYBC01ZjZAXHmMc62f-wMLwSf4-lIrtpLoj3UUzc2Ze_2g_5yAe5-b4V8XOy9P7kzsURCky9Cn8404UmN9xaBVnq3GhpwcO0/s1600/dog.tif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyuty10gvhAkRDLMoBrCW38bWvCPcRe8bWTeZHDvBN5T9KSYBC01ZjZAXHmMc62f-wMLwSf4-lIrtpLoj3UUzc2Ze_2g_5yAe5-b4V8XOy9P7kzsURCky9Cn8404UmN9xaBVnq3GhpwcO0/s320/dog.tif" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
He was limping as he walked, looked like it took him a lot of energy to do so, making all different sounds like a fragile old man when he sat right next to me. I asked his owner how old he was. 8 and half years, he replied. Taking him with himself, he continued with his Spanish accent and a bitter smile: That's life...</div>
Behdokhthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06197063079038136111noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6226476434486915051.post-26577093022086648692013-07-23T11:28:00.001+02:002013-07-23T11:36:30.892+02:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Far from our ordinary life, we are in a countryside enjoying a spectacular view of a Spanish scenery. I can hear nothing other than the sound of nature, and the touch of my fingers on the keyboard right at this moment. That was the whole purpose of our trip this time to get detached from all the external and not so pleasant noises, and to chill out and enjoy the present. My head is a mixture of different thoughts and feelings. I think compared to our previous trips, this time I can absorb and appreciate the present more. The place that we are staying is gorgeous, the food is fantastic and the atmosphere is extremely warm and welcoming. We are already thinking of coming back during the winter. </div>
Behdokhthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06197063079038136111noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6226476434486915051.post-67724655962943684442013-07-05T23:32:00.001+02:002013-07-05T23:32:58.367+02:00...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Since almost 3 years ago, all I've done was around a deadline to submit a paper, and by all I mean ALL. I'm literally exhausted, don't get me wrong, whenever I look at the data, the beautiful data soon to be submitted, and the painting I did on the brain sections, the incredible world that I see under the confocal microscope, and for all I've learned within these years I say it was worth the pain and the difficult days. But, I have difficulty remembering and recognizing myself, and that what else I can be and do beside doing experiments. It's been almost 2 years since my last trip to Iran, and I'm still emotionally attached to that part of the planet. I un/consciously ignore my feeling until I miss there so deeply that I start dreaming about places, streets and our apartment in Tehran. The dream is not so frequent but the effect is so deep. In the body of a grown up person, I still cry like a baby for hours if someone in my work environment says or does something that I find hurtful. </div>
Behdokhthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06197063079038136111noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6226476434486915051.post-83208591633026054452013-05-21T22:26:00.002+02:002013-05-21T22:26:18.921+02:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
The whole thing got ridiculously funny! No vote, no confusion any more.<br />
</div>
Behdokhthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06197063079038136111noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6226476434486915051.post-42153860810517048382013-05-19T14:04:00.000+02:002013-05-21T22:26:00.499+02:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Iran's presidential election is getting close. You can see a lot of hot discussions are going on in Persian blogs and websites as well as on Facebook between my Iranian fellows and friends. Some are strongly arguing in favor of going to the polls and vote, and the others boycotting the election, staying put firmly on their position stating that they are not going to make the same mistake they made 4 years ago. Sometimes you can see the conflict turning to a sort of harsh argument, both trying to convince, or prove the other side wrong. To me, the whole decision making looks quite tough, the picture I can see of what is, and has been going on is filled with contradictions. I think there is a point in the logical argument each side is trying to make. So far, I see myself shifting gradually towards the presidency ballot, but there is a great deal of uncertainty in every little move I make...<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Behdokhthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06197063079038136111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6226476434486915051.post-50542999493606679132013-05-06T19:58:00.001+02:002013-05-06T22:38:01.804+02:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
You are aware that you have the right to disagree with someone over something, you should know how to do it without being aggressive, and there is a chance that the fear of looking aggressive would make you so over-careful that you end up not speaking your mind properly.<br />
<div>
The fact that you suppress your opinion is not right, and in fact can be mentally harmful. It can damage the potential constructive relationship that you could have with the person you have not shared your real/different opinion with.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
But, the questions are :</div>
<div>
how you can disagree without looking like a difficult person, </div>
<div>
and how to speak your mind without looking like a diffident one?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
And now in my 30s, I came to realize how important it is to find practical answers to these questions.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Behdokhthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06197063079038136111noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6226476434486915051.post-57366663794339326872013-05-03T19:30:00.001+02:002013-05-03T19:30:27.900+02:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
One paper per day = Feeling more than good<br />
<br />
Let's start, let's keep the promise<br />
<br /></div>
Behdokhthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06197063079038136111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6226476434486915051.post-82990631989250153552013-04-27T09:36:00.002+02:002013-04-27T09:45:55.979+02:00Clarity<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
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<br />
<a href="http://clarityresourcecenter.org/">Here</a>, and <a href="http://www.nature.com/news/see-through-brains-clarify-connections-1.12768">here</a> you can see more on this.<br />
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<br /></div>
Behdokhthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06197063079038136111noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6226476434486915051.post-16329184786752009162013-04-18T21:05:00.001+02:002013-04-18T21:06:06.023+02:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Learning little by little how to avoid jumping quickly into either small, or big conclusions. It is learnable. </div>
Behdokhthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06197063079038136111noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6226476434486915051.post-6422420631672680582013-02-21T22:14:00.002+02:002013-02-21T22:18:20.326+02:00Balance<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
For me there is a thin line between caring too much and not caring at all apparently!</div>
Behdokhthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06197063079038136111noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6226476434486915051.post-30223375757451436162013-02-08T20:32:00.002+02:002013-02-08T22:45:40.313+02:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The way you write should be at least a bit similar to the way you talk, otherwise it feels like dealing with two different people, it is strange.</div>
Behdokhthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06197063079038136111noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6226476434486915051.post-33969326151475037852013-02-03T16:36:00.000+02:002013-02-03T16:36:02.962+02:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
My personal life has been enormously dominated by my professional life. Frankly I'm a bit tired of not being so practical in that regard. I know I just need to take some very little time to come up with simple solutions which I already have in my mental list. It looks I'm afraid and hesitate to make life too pleasant and more in order. </div>
Behdokhthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06197063079038136111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6226476434486915051.post-35793431582762020552013-01-04T19:59:00.001+02:002013-01-04T19:59:57.182+02:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
13 years has passed since the day he asked my name...</div>
Behdokhthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06197063079038136111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6226476434486915051.post-5060571846337419602013-01-02T16:43:00.001+02:002013-01-02T21:18:19.538+02:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs-v7UPiuklkEnsYFUCPsgirwYPWnqPjYuTNXy0Kwwh3euzkUJO-NH1xvktl0-RUsPi4MfczcEByLxWoLzFnU_P6Gx1szY7g87lmtJWmHsheYXgr7v5kjHBVHpuE-hEAjjcrdz9mAaw8GQ/s1600/breeds_07249103701532_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs-v7UPiuklkEnsYFUCPsgirwYPWnqPjYuTNXy0Kwwh3euzkUJO-NH1xvktl0-RUsPi4MfczcEByLxWoLzFnU_P6Gx1szY7g87lmtJWmHsheYXgr7v5kjHBVHpuE-hEAjjcrdz9mAaw8GQ/s1600/breeds_07249103701532_1.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
My brother and his wife have two new little members added to their family. Two very lovely <a href="http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/greaterswissmountain.htm">dogs</a>. They arrived to their house when they were little. Both my brother and his wife have been taking care of them carefully. They are very much emotionally attached to them, playing with them, training them, and watching them grow day by day.<br />
I never had a close interaction experience with dogs like this before. I fell in love with one of them, so kind, innocent, and lovely. He was giving me such an incredible feeling of peace and joy while we were playing. I've been missing him a lot since we left there. This was certainly a hidden or a new side of me. </div>
Behdokhthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06197063079038136111noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6226476434486915051.post-11515516983363900072012-12-24T22:43:00.000+02:002012-12-24T22:45:56.722+02:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
When I started writing in here, it was mostly about what was going on in my very internal world, the world of my personal thoughts and concerns. People who were around me were not standing too close if they were not close to me. Things were rather selective. I could choose with whom I wanted to spend my quality time, I would spend or prefer to spend my time with the ones that I could trust, and had common interests, with the ones that I could click and had a chemistry with.<br />
When you enter into the real world, things are not that selective anymore. There, you start or try to learn how to cope with someone that you have little in common. You try to make a bridge since that's how you can go on, that's how you can survive. But, it does not necessarily mean that you always enjoy those close interactions. You will definitely face some ups and downs which help you grow.<br />
The question is how far you should or you can go, how much you should put up with things that you do not find reasonable. How much you should take your own rights into consideration without being unfair, and who can actually determine what is truly "fair".<br />
Now, I am experiencing things which are totally new to me. They have been consuming so much of my physical and mental energy as well as taking away my focus.<br />
In the lab, I'm advised to think more and say what is fair, I'm advised to be careful not to give in for the sake of being nice as well. This is the last thing I want right at this time. It's the holiday season. I want to be happy, and in a merry mood. I need to be concentrated as I will have a lot of work to do, and to prepare. I have difficulty feeling truly happy, it's tough out there. It can get very tough out there. </div>
Behdokhthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06197063079038136111noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6226476434486915051.post-15443896342699841822012-12-22T17:38:00.001+02:002012-12-22T17:38:11.268+02:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I am so loving what he has been doing:<br />
<br />
http://www.humansofnewyork.com</div>
Behdokhthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06197063079038136111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6226476434486915051.post-84018966347554556582012-12-16T22:55:00.000+02:002012-12-16T22:55:34.909+02:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
In some years from now, how would I describe these days, the last few years? How would I remember this period of my life, and people I've been meeting so far? How would I remember myself, the places and cities I'm passing and spending my time each and every single day? I can imagine things would be remembered with a flavor of sweetness, and perhaps more pleasant than how I feel about them now. They don't come naturally in perspective to my senses. I have to actively remind them to myself to see them as real as they are. I have to fight for them to see them as they are. It's dark outside, it's one of those times that I have a lot of thoughts, not very clear ones, and I cannot see a clear pathway when I switch from one to another. Each is showing itself and then disappears and then the next comes quietly. I think to myself how things would look later on. Looking at him sitting on his chair right next to me, looking at his face, thinking of so much history, memories, and short or long stories... I get back to my hazy random thoughts, I switch to him, to his always reassuring face, reassuring kindness, this is one of those nights...<br />
<br /></div>
Behdokhthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06197063079038136111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6226476434486915051.post-82240880464722411582012-11-15T20:39:00.000+02:002012-11-15T20:39:25.734+02:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The time that I spend on the train is 2 hours in total and I see I've been enjoying it so far. I know that I have 1 hour of grabbing my laptop and taking care of a couple of stuff like checking my mail boxes, writing mails and getting back to people and surfing through internet. I'd also like the idea of reading things which I have in my list but the fact that I can have access to the internet is quite tempting to stay connected. This is the reality of our lives or people like me. We keep that door open and in the meantime we're closing the other doors. I have 2% of battery and not much time left to write more...</div>
Behdokhthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06197063079038136111noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6226476434486915051.post-63153631749131189142012-11-11T00:04:00.000+02:002012-11-11T00:11:51.666+02:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
All my days are filled with experiments, collecting data, and analysis. Every now and then I should give a presentation like the one I will have the coming Monday.<br />
This time, I will have to present to a group of psychiatrists that do not know much about the molecular basis and technical detail of what we do in the lab, but since both sides try to build a bridge between the mental disorders clinic and the hard core scientific models of them, we all need to bring brick, stone and whatever we have to make it happen!<br />
My supervisor advised me to give my talk in a way that my grandmother could also understand if she was one of the audience. I think this already is a challenge. I strongly believe if you could describe something complicated in a simpler language that a lot of people could understand, then you could claim that you yourself understood the subject in its true terms.</div>
Behdokhthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06197063079038136111noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6226476434486915051.post-35354336087472241082012-10-07T17:14:00.001+02:002012-10-07T17:14:32.940+02:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Our 4 years life in The Hague reached to its end and just recently we moved to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amersfoort">Amersfoort </a>. Still being in the same country living here does look like a nice change. The city is charming, people look happier and more relaxed giving us a warm pleasant impression. We both need to commute during the week. Lets's see what life would be like in here. </div>
Behdokhthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06197063079038136111noreply@blogger.com1